Is Twilight appropriate for a 12-year-old?

Edward and Bella’s relationship starts because Edward stalks Bella. He watches her in her sleep and he followers her around; him following her is revealed when he jumps out to save her, the implication being that it’s good he stalked her. We’re supposed to see this behavior as him loving her, caring about her, and being willing and able to protect her.

Which is how many real-life stalkers see themselves. They’re so in love, they can’t help themselves. If anything happened to their beloved, they’d give up anything, take any kind of beating to protect them.

Rejecting the stalker is even more perilous. This is the harshest possible challenge to their romantic obsession, and they will respond by trying to prove themselves—that is, by intensifying their stalking—or by immediately devaluing the beloved and lashing out, often violently.

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Sure, it’s a good story. But let’s not. Jondo Singing by Julio Romero de Torres. Public domain.

You can keep it in your books for adults. Adults know things that seem sexy in books can be horrific in real life. But kids learn how to live their lives from the fantasies they read.

Any genuine interaction risks this, as the stalker is in love with their idea of the person, not the actual person. Behavioral or personality traits, even interests that diverge from that super compelling idea of the person may create revulsion or hatred, up to and including violence, in people who are obsessed with someone.

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

No. The relationship modelling is horrific, and children are especially vulnerable to false messages on this front.

It’s dangerous no matter how you slice it, life-threateningly dangerous, and encouraging young people to see behavior this toxic as romantic and a sign of love is socioculturally poisonous. We risk people’s lives by teaching them these things.

But, and this is key, stalkers will also act to protect themselves from their beloved if their beloved falters by acting in less-than-perfect ways.

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Don’t teach them that stalking is romantic. Just don’t.